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Love and Hypochondria
Daily Mail 15 November 2004
After the weather and taxes, the things we talk about most are sex and health. In this new weeekly column, Chrissy Iley grills celebtities on these two subjects. First up is Darius, the Pop idol failure who went on to prove Simon Cowell wrong when he reached Number One with Colourblind. This month the 24-year releases his second album. Currently single, it's been a hard year in which his father was diagnosed with cancer.
Are you in love ?
No, and I am enjoying my time not living with anybody. I had a huge connection with someone in Los Angeles and that might happen in the future. But at the moment,all my love is for my family.
In relationships, are you the one who likes to love more or be loved ?
I am the giver, not the taker. I put in 100% to make things work in any relationship, with a girlfriend, or my parents and my family. I think the act of giving is selfish because of the glow it gives you.
Are you a high maintenance boyfriend?
I think I am tiring to be around, but I am fun. One beach holiday that was supposed to be "read-and-relax" turned into a scuba diving, abseiling,non stop event.
What would you change about yourself?
The fact that I am not patient with myself. My first love was a medical student who had two brothers with cystic fibrosis. She had incredible patience and I learned a lot from her about dealing with others. Now, it's just myself that I have to worry about.
People tend to repeat the same pattern in relationships. What's your pattern?
I feel defined by how much I can give my girlfriend. Even though we have a ladette culture and women are independent in the work place, when it comes down to it, a man still needs to protect and cherish. I love the feeling of making someone feel wanted and safe.
Would you rather be emotionally hurt or discontent?
What is life, unless it's to experience the whole gamut ? Without the troughs, there would be no highs. When I was 16, I was in a relationship where I would fly from my home in Glasgow to London every other weekend. One day I walked in on my girlfriend cheating on me with my best friend. I felt betrayed, but it taught me that to appreciate the laughter in life, you need to shed tears sometimes. To be discontent, on the other hand, is almost circumstantial and not to do with the individual. You can't learn from it in the same way. So I'd rather be hurt.
What do you fear?
When I was at school, two of my great friends died, one in an accident and one was murdered. From then on, I always feared losing someone that I cared about. But because of my father's illness, I now accept that loss is part of living. Fear doesn't work on any level. I learnt on Pop Idol that you have to stay pure to your own thoughts. If I had listened to Simon Cowell, I would have feared that I would never get a record deal.
What makes you happy?
Playing chess with my little brother Sirus, who is nine. I am very competitive but I love it when he beats me. It makes me learn something about myself. Also, I enjoy his face lighting up. It reminds me of when I taught my father the card games I would learn at school and beat him too.
Yoga or workout?
I work out every day. I swim and do cardiovascular exercises.
What's your food vice?
I like to buy an £80 box of belgian chocolate, the weight of a small shopping bag, take it to a girlfriend as a present and then eat it without guilt.
Would you rather a quick, sudden death or an illness with time to prepare?
Quick, sudden death any time. A Jimmy Dean car crash or a mysterious plane disaster. I have talked about this with my father recently. Nobody wants to extend the length of suffereing, although it has enabled me to say all those things that I've always wanted to say. I am grateful for every minute I have spent with him, which was the inspiration for my song Live Twice.
Can you easily be forced to do something against your wishes?
My mother has an amazing way of getting me to do the dishes. She just says: "Apple crumble".